As a single mother with little family support, there were constant financial struggles. Nevertheless, my mother somehow managed to make it work, and eventually, I was healed. Unfortunately, the damage had already been done to my memory, and I faced challenges in socializing. Later, we discovered that I was also dyslexic, which helped us understand why school had always been an uphill battle for me. Elementary and middle school were pure chaos periods, as I constantly felt inferior to the other students and lacked any meaningful friendships. This, in addition to the fact that for a few years people I cared about kept on dying, just made me be in a constant state of depression and confusion. I truly believed that existence equaled pain.
Eventually, I understood that something had to change, and at the age of 14, I decided to move from Italy to China to live with the father I never really had. I did not know English and Mandarin, but that didn’t stop me. Needless to say, high school as well was complete chaos and extremely challenging, especially because I was a non-Christian in a fully Christian international school, however, it was the best decision I made in my life. At 17 I decided that I was tired of constantly being a victim of my own life, and started researching ways to better my life and the lives of the people around me. I decided that I wanted to stop people from hating and hurting because the reality is that hate just creates more hate.
I felt good about the progress that I was making, until during university, while I was in The Netherlands studying business, I found out my best friend of 5 years and partner of 1 year had been unfaithful to me for months behind my back while we were living together.
I found myself homeless and alone in a foreign country. My world crumbled again. Covid hit a few months later, and as you know it caused real damage in everyone’s lives. For me, it made the loneliness and the pain so much more real that I eventually couldn’t stay a day without being high. I felt it was necessary to feel something other than pain, but when it got to the point where I couldn’t feel anything even with the high, I truly got scared. That is when I decided that I was going to take back my life. I started reading, watching, and learning from the best, and when I finally felt and saw the light within myself, I knew that I wanted the whole world to find that light within themselves, thus beginning a new and important journey of self-evolution.
Now, you may think that I got to that point because of all the hardships I had in life. The reality is that, as much as that is true, it is only half of the truth. We all have positive aspects within our lives that help us survive the hardest moments. The problem is that more often than not we do not recognize them. For me, the positives were my mom’s constant support and stability, my dog Zeus who helped me feel love and truly loved me in a time when I felt that life only meant pain, and all the teaching I had in the trips that I was able to take thanks to my father. I had many hardships, but I was also very blessed in other aspects. Not recognizing the blessings we have had, even during our hard times, means understanding only half of the journey we have been through.
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